The 80/20 Dating Reality
The top 20% of men are not the richest or most handsome. They are the men who do the basics most guys skip: they stay fit, they fix their finances, they build real confidence, and they treat their dating profile like a product launch. Do those things consistently and you join that 20%.
When you hear that 80% of women want only 20% of men, how does that make you feel? Let me give you my response: there are pros and cons.
The Brutal Truth
Pro: More opportunities for me, because I know I'm in that 20%. I can't guarantee it with stats, but I feel like I am.
The Reality: Most men don't even try. Their lack of success in dating is completely self-inflicted.
How to Break Into That Top 20%
Alright, let's talk about it. Let's talk about the basics. The first point I want to bring up is: how can a guy like you break into that 20%?
The Non-Negotiable Basics (Sorry, Not Sorry)
Number one: don't be fat. I'm sorry. You know for a fact a thick-ass girl can get way more attention than a very thick man with tits. You know this is true.
Look, I'm not a dietician, this is Defund Simping, I'm not a weightlifting coach. But if you can start tracking calories and walking more, you can shed that weight.
Number two: don't be broke. Easy for me to say because I'm successful with online money. But what I want you to do is go on Indeed right now and let's just see if you can find a job that pays you more money than what you're making right now. I guarantee it.
The Financial Stress Reality Check
Here's the thing: you may not like doing it. Suck it up. The reason why I believe men who are dead broke are in that 80% is because, dude, if you have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, how can you go on a date with a girl?
If you're worried about "hey, I may not have a roof over my head," that type of stress makes you a different person. I honestly think - without knowing the stats on this - you take a guy that's relatively okay financially and you take a guy that may or may not be evicted this month, their mentalities are so much different.
My Personal Story: The $70 Checking Account Days
I'm not going to lie, it'd be hard for me to approach girls knowing that I may be evicted in a week. I'm just being real. It may be difficult for you to date and be in that mindset of being this player type of guy when you know you're getting evicted or going home to a refrigerator with no food in it.
I'd argue I wasn't getting the best treatment until four years ago. Four years ago is when I finally got into my groove. But guess what? I was still kind of broke. No, I was broke four years ago - I was probably making 4K a month. It wasn't good.
But hey, I still went out to clubs and bars, approached girls, went on dates. I still did my thing regardless. But if that girl looked at the food menu and was like "Actually, I'm kind of hungry," I'm like "Oh my god" because I knew my checking account had like 70 bucks in it.
Don't Be Fat
Track calories and walk more. A thick woman gets more attention than a thick man with tits - this is reality.
Action Step: Start calorie tracking and daily walks immediately
Don't Be Broke
Financial stress changes your entire mentality. How can you approach confidently if you're worried about eviction?
Action Step: Search Indeed for higher-paying jobs right now
Develop Unshakeable Confidence
Stop thinking every attractive woman is better than you. She could be struggling with insecurities you can't imagine.
Action Step: Approach with the mindset that you can improve her life
Optimize Your Online Presence
We live in a digital age. Your dating app photos are your product launch - make them count.
Action Step: Invest in a professional photo shoot
The Next Way to Break Out: Start Being Arrogant
I'm a cook on this one. So when you see a girl and you think she's attractive, what do most guys do? "Damn, she's cute." And they keep walking. Why? Because they don't have the confidence to walk up to her and say "Yo, what's good?"
The Insecurity Layers That Kill You
Layer 1: They think that girl is better than them. So they're like "Why would she want me? I don't even like me, so why would she choose me?"
Layer 2: "Oh this cute girl, why would she choose me when she can choose a millionaire or a billionaire?"
The Problem: You're just putting all your insecurities onto her and you're losing because you think this girl is better than you.
The Reality Check You Need
You don't know what that girl is going through. That girl could have almost committed suicide this morning. You don't know how insecure that girl is. But again, that's how a lot of guys think.
When you're a very unconfident person, you almost take yourself out of the dating market voluntarily because you think every single girl you see that's attractive is better off without you.
My Mindset: How I See Every Girl
Every attractive girl I see, I genuinely believe I can make their life better. Every girl I meet, there's something they're doing that I can help them with.
One girl is like "Oh my god, I want to break into content but I don't know how." I'm like "Huh, I know a guy."
"Oh my god, I like making content but I can't edit." I know a guy.
"Oh my gosh, I'm struggling with my budget." Here, let me take a look at your finances, I can help you.
This happens all the time with girls I'm dating - I can help them with something in their life. I add value outside of my personality and looks.
The Mindset That Changes Everything
So when I see a girl, I go "Yeah, like she would benefit from being with me." But a lot of you guys see a girl and think "Nah, why would she be with me when she can be with somebody else richer, taller, more handsome?"
See what I just did there? Taller, more handsome, more money. You think you're inadequate in every single area, and that's a problem. You're never going to break into that 20% of men because you don't even see yourself as a 20% guy.
Treat Yourself Like a High-End Product
You may not like this one, but I'm going to say it anyway. Treat yourself like you are a high-end product. What does that mean?
Okay, let's start with hygiene. How do your teeth look? If you look in the mirror, bro, and your teeth are yellow, there's white strips, there's zoom whitening at the dentist. You can make your teeth look more presentable.
The Brutal Physical Reality Check
Let's go to your face. Does your face look like a boiled egg? Lose the weight. Let's go to your hair. Hair - everyone's style can be different. I don't want you to go too niche. Don't get dreadlocks or cornrows if you want mass appeal.
Find a haircut that has more appeal to all women, as opposed to a niche set of women. And your physique? If you're built like a pear, clothes don't look good on you. I'm just going to keep it a buck.
Your Online Presence: The Digital Age Reality
Guys, I'm sorry to say this - you already know this. We're living in a digital age. People aren't meeting from social circles like they used to back in the 1930s. Your mom met your dad from a friend of a friend. People were constantly setting each other up.
No DMs, no cold approaching. "Hey, my friend, you would like my friend Sally. Sally, meet my friend Bob." That's how a lot of this went down 50, 60 years ago.
But nowadays, people are meeting online. And most of you don't have the biggest balls to approach that random girl. So you're banking on a match on Facebook Dating, Hinge, Tinder, Bumble. However, your photos are old. They're really bad for most of you.
My Results: What This Strategy Gets You
I know this because I do this full-time. I'm looking at profiles almost every single day, and a lot of guys neglect their online image.
When I say treat yourself like a product, imagine you were launching a new product - which is you. If you were launching a product, you would get good photos for it. The website looks good. That's how I want you to treat yourself.
That's what I did, and that's why I'm able to get two, three, sometimes even four matches a day on a dating app. That plus meeting women in person - you'll never be lonely. I'll put it to you that way.
The Bottom Line
So treat yourself like a product. If you do all of those things I talked about, you can break into the top 20% of guys all these girls are yapping about. All these girls are trying to date. You can be that guy.
And hey, listen: if you do it, you will become it.
The Full Video Breakdown
In the full video above, I dive deep into each of these strategies with real examples and actionable steps. You'll see exactly how to implement these principles in your own life, plus get answers to the most common questions my clients ask.
Key Takeaways from the Video
- • The brutal reality of dating statistics and why most men fail
- • Exact strategies to break into the top 20% of desirable men
- • Why financial stability and fitness are non-negotiable basics
- • The confidence mindset shift that changes everything
- • How to treat yourself like a high-value product
- • Warning signs that keep you trapped in the 80%
Avoid The 80% Trap
Now let's talk about the 80% - the guys who will never break out. These are their traits, and hopefully I don't describe you. But if I do, get out of it and work your way towards the 20%.
Constant Coping
Making excuses like 'women nowadays are this' or 'I'll get rejected anyway'
Impact: Takes you out of the game before you even start
Victim Mentality
Believing you're owed something or that dating shouldn't be this hard
Impact: Leads to consuming content that keeps you stuck
Analysis Paralysis
Refusing to improve photos, approach women, or take any action
Impact: Guarantees you stay in the 80% forever
Why Victim Mentality Kills Your Success
The Harsh Reality
Dating is unforgiving. Women are not sympathetic to your struggle AT ALL. I see videos every day of women saying:
- • "Yeah, you men are lonely. Good."
- • "You aren't lonely enough."
- • "Women only want 20% of men? It's probably less than that."
- • "I don't like most of you men."
They will step over you and go to a guy that has 10 other girls around him. They'd rather deal with that guy than you.
Since women don't care and won't feel sorry for you, what are YOU going to do about it?
The Downward Spiral
When you stay in the 80% too long, you start finding content that says:
- • "It's not you, it's your location - go to Colombia"
- • "You're just short in America - try the Philippines"
- • "Women are the problem - go your own way"
This content doesn't motivate you - it demotivates you and keeps you stuck in your pity.
Your Action Plan
Start Today
I believe every guy (unless you have severe autism or deformities) can be successful with women. It's completely doable. I've helped guys go from 2 dates per year to 2 dates per week.
Immediate Actions:
- ✓ Start tracking calories today
- ✓ Search for better-paying jobs
- ✓ Book a teeth whitening appointment
- ✓ Schedule a professional photo shoot
Mindset Shifts:
- ✓ You can improve any woman's life
- ✓ Stop making excuses and start trying
- ✓ Treat yourself like a premium product
- ✓ Approach with confidence, not desperation
The Game Is Hard - So What?
Dating shouldn't be this hard, but it IS. I'm not saying it should be, but I'm looking at the game and playing it. Some guys look at the game and say "Nah, I'mma stay back." That's your choice, but don't complain about the results.
Ready to Join the Top 20%?
Stop being part of the 80% that women ignore. Get personalized coaching to transform your dating life in 8 weeks.
The Bottom Line
The 80/20 rule absolutely exists. If anything, it's getting worse - it could be 90% of women wanting 10% of men, or even 95% wanting 5%. Women don't care about making the line thinner and thinner.
Since they don't care and you know they don't care, what are you going to do about it? The more you complain about women's standards, the deeper you go down the rabbit hole toward packing your bags for Thailand. If you want a faster path, you can work with me through the coaching program and build the plan around you.
For Most Men, This Changes Everything:
- • A new mindset about your value
- • Professional dating app photos
- • Basic fitness and financial stability
- • The confidence to approach and add value
Related guides for your next step
Why No Girl Wants You Yet
The behaviours that keep men invisible, and the practical changes that create better dating inputs.
Why Successful Men Cannot Approach Women
The barriers that keep capable men silent around women, from fear of rejection to overthinking the opening.
The Four Skills You Need to Master Dating
Lead generation, logistics, outcome independence, and walking away, Chad's clearest dating framework.
Ready to Join the Top 20%?
Stop being part of the 80% that women ignore. Get personalized coaching to transform your dating life and join the elite.