Why You Can Be Handsome And Still Get Rejected

Handsome guys still get rejected because looks are subjective and attraction is mostly mindset, not muscles. No matter how sharp your jawline is, you will never be every girl's type, and confidence beats appearance every time. The men who win date on their own terms instead of chasing.

So recently I made a video on TikTok and Instagram talking about how just because you got more attractive recently, that doesn't dismiss you from the game. You're probably wondering what does that mean - dismiss you from the game?

Guys out there really think once they become more attractive there's no more rejections, no more flakes, no more disrespect, and dating now just becomes easy. It's just easy now because you're attractive. Guys, you are mistaken.

I would consider myself a handsome guy. I'm 6'1", I'm in great shape, I have all the things girls like - money, all this stuff. But here's the thing: when I approach girls in clubs and bars, they may go "Oh I'm good, thanks." When I shoot DMs, I'll get left on seen.

Now I know I'm just projecting my experiences, but guys, I'm still getting rejected. I'm still getting hit with disrespect. I'm still getting hit with flakes. So don't think for a second once you looksmax, all of a sudden dating's just so easy now.

Why Looks Are Subjective, Not Universal

The first reason why looks won't save you from the game is because looks are subjective. What does that mean? Subjective means it's up to opinion. Objective is reality - for example, I'm filming this video on a camera. That's objective. No one can disagree, no one can say I'm filming this video on a banana.

Let's take Sydney Sweeney - we all know who she is. Me personally, if I saw her at a bar, I wouldn't approach her. That's not my type. Do I think she's attractive? Sure. But am I sexually attracted? I am not. I'll be honest though, if she approached me and she was very aggressive, "Hey you're really cute," would I do it? Sure. But I wouldn't go out of my way.

I'm more into the Pocahontas look - the nice darker skin tone, the big brown eyes, black hair. That's my thing. So what happens is since looks are subjective, just because you get handsome doesn't mean every girl's going to agree with it. You'll approach girls and still get rejected. You'll send DMs to girls on Instagram and they'll still leave you unseen.

Some guys actually think when they become more attractive, all of a sudden no more getting rejected. "I'm attractive now, why would they reject me? I'm attractive. If I DM that girl, why would she leave me on seen? I'm attractive." No bro, looks are subjective. You may not be her type no matter how sharp your jawline is, no matter how well you dress, no matter how many taper fades or high fades - it doesn't matter. You still won't be that girl's type.

The NBA Player Reality Check

Let's talk about NBA players and NFL players. If you think about it, the average player in the NBA is 6'8", and these guys are multi-millionaires. According to a lot of looksmaxing people and guys in the comments who cope, technically they should be good, right? They're 6'8", they're massive human beings, they're very talented, they have status, they're on TV, and they make millions of dollars.

But guess what? These guys still get tricked, abused, rejected, and humiliated by women. You see, that's my point - the game never ends. Guys out there think the second they become attractive, the game is over. Girls will no longer put them through the BS, and guess what? It's just getting started.

You're now a target to some of these girls because they know if they can get you vulnerable, they can go for a TMZ moment, take a picture of you sleeping, tag you on Shade Room. I'd argue once you get status and you're known, you got money, you have to really watch out. You got to start having girls sign NDAs.

The 'Girls Will Approach You' Myth

There's guys on the internet who think once you become more attractive, girls will approach you. Now let's just say that's true - how many though? Because let's do some basic math. On Hinge, we all know a match doesn't mean much. I'd argue I'd have to get at least 10 matches to get one girl to convert.

So if you are getting to a point where you want girls to approach you, it may take a lot of girls to approach you for it to actually go down - for you to meet her in person or get to the bedroom. I'd argue for the looksmaxing people to be right, you need about a girl every day to approach you to make sense. Then I'll believe you.

If you have seven girls a week walking up to you and approaching you, then yes, looksmax and I'll delete this whole video. But if it's only happening once a week, once every couple of weeks, it doesn't matter. It's not enough volume for it to really matter.

If I was just dating girls off of them approaching me, I'd be pretty lonely and pretty single. That's why when guys say "Oh well actually I don't approach girls because that's a waste of time. That time I'm using to approach girls I can put back in myself, or they approach me" - bro, how many times does that happen a week? It doesn't happen enough for that to be your full-time dating strategy.

In my opinion, there is no easy way out for dating for men. If you want to approach girls, go ahead - you're gonna have to probably approach about 10 of them to get one to show up in person. If you want to go dating apps, you're going to have to swipe right 20 to 40 times a day or per week to get maybe a couple matches for the average guy.

Why Beautiful Women Date Average Guys

How many times have you and I both been out at the bar, the club, just out in general, and we see beautiful girl, average guy, and we look and go "Wait, you're way more attractive than him. Why isn't this girl with this Tyrone or Chad looking guy?"

Here's the thing - it'd be different if it happened here and there, but this happens a lot. And you know I'm not lying where we see beautiful women with guys that aren't that attractive. Since this is more than just a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, this happens a lot, we have to start looking inward and go "Wait a minute, what if it's not just about looks?"

Since we're so fixated on looks, we project that on women and we think they're the same way. I think women look at a man on a holistic level - it's like a pie chart: looks, finances, emotional availability. They look at a man in a pie chart, whereas men, we look at girls and go "hot or not." Are you hot? Yes, this way. You're not? That way.

That's why when we see guys that are average looking with very beautiful women, we start scratching our head. We're like "Wait a minute, why aren't you with a 6'3 guy with a jawline with a six-pack?" I guarantee you that girl knows a guy like that, but why isn't she with him? I can't answer that question - I'm not a woman. But since we do know we see beautiful women with guys that aren't these 10% body fat European looking models, we have to start looking deeper.

Mindset Over Muscles: The Real Game Changer

What if that guy has that girl because he approached her with confidence? What if that guy got that girl because he was able to go on a date with her and just have this confidence that he's that guy, regardless of him not having a six-pack, regardless of him not being 10% body fat with a jawline?

That's why I believe when guys' whole page is just about being handsome, it's so surface level because I truly believe the mindset of a man is better than his looks.

The Guy With No Car But Endless Confidence

I know guys who, growing up when we're like 18, 19 - no car, no job - kept a girlfriend around. Meanwhile, there's a guy out there that's starting tech companies and he's a lot more successful, but he can't get a girl to save his life. But my homeboy with no car, no job has a girlfriend. Why?

Again, I can't speak for that girl, but why is it that my homeboy had no car, no job, no nothing, but still had a girlfriend? It was his mindset. He thought he deserved her when he had nothing to offer. That's what I think men should be coaching men on - it's the mentality that you have, not your look.

If I wanted to, I could lock in, have the nicest diet, and get down to 10% body fat. How much would that really change my dating life? Not much, in my opinion. It wouldn't change much at all.

My point is, if you want to go for looks and just say "Oh I'm going to go the looks way," great, have fun. But I challenge you to really change your mindset because I'm a full-time coach for men, and there's some guys who I work with who are very handsome, but they still struggle with girls. Why? Their mentality.

Dating On Your Terms, Not Theirs

They're like "Bro, I sent her flowers because I had a good date with her." Okay, for what? "Oh, I thought she would like that." Is that what you want to do? "Well, no." Then why'd you do it? "Well, I thought she would like it."

You see my point? It's not that he's ugly, it's just that his mentality is off. I ask guys "Yo, where'd you go for the first date?" "Oh, I took her to dinner in her side of town." Did you ever see her again? "No."

You see what I'm saying? A lot of times it's not that you're ugly, it's that your mentality and the way you go about dating is incorrect. You're dating on the woman's terms and you're not dating on your terms.

That's a mentality. If I went and drove to her side of town for dinner, that's me simping. And on top of that, I could have been like "Oh well, at least I get the date. She finds me attractive enough to go on a date with." You see?

I could rant on this topic all day, but I don't want you guys just wrapping yourselves up in looks and thinking that that's the all, that's the be-all. It's not. Dating is about a mentality, and if you don't have the right mentality, you'll always be pushed around by girls. But when you have the right mentality, you date on your terms. Dating is much better.